Jenn Ditzhazy (00:00.686)
Hello, good morning. Welcome to this episode of receive. I believe it's our 19th episode, which is super duper exciting because I believe that they say like 70 % of podcasts or 80 % of podcasts don't make it to 20 episodes. So that's really, really cool. And I am your host, Jen Ditzhazy, and I am going to be sharing with you today a bit more about feminine energy.
So the last episode that we had, I dove into some of the principles and the concepts behind feminine energy and how it helps us to manifest the things that we want in our life. And I almost feel like feminine energy nowadays is a lost art. It is something that has sort of been swept under the rug in the favor of a very masculine dominated society to the detriment of each one of us, to men and women. Men are
craving feminine energy and women are craving it as well and it's leading to this epidemic of burnout of us feeling unworthy of us feeling not good enough and So I want to dive further into this today and at the end of the episode I'm gonna give you about ten different tools for you to Cultivate and practice within your life in order to begin creating more feminine energy for yourself
So it's quite exciting. I'm really, really just so excited to talk about this concept today because it has truly transformed my life. And I believe that it was one of the key pieces along with everything else that I teach. It was one of the key pieces that really allowed me to feel safe and calm and peaceful within my nervous system was recognizing that I don't need to be anything that I'm not because I'm not naturally
masculine being, right? And trying to fit into a mold that wasn't made for you is really uncomfortable and it doesn't feel good. So yeah, I'm really excited for this for you. So what I want to reiterate just from the last episode and go a little bit deeper into is first starting off with the difference between desire and need because this is so important and it cannot be overestimated, overemphasized. That's what I'm looking for.
Jenn Ditzhazy (02:20.526)
Desire is something that I think we have been taught to believe is a bad thing, to believe that, I shouldn't want that. I should hide my wanting. I should hide my desire for that. Right? And so the reality is that desire is actually a positive, expansive energy of yes, of I want to call more of this into my life.
If you do not have that energy, you are going to limit your ability to call things into your life. If you shame yourself for wanting, then you're not going to, on a subconscious level, allow yourself to want more. If I believe on some level that my desire for money is dirty and bad, then I'm going to struggle to call in more money. So we actually have to be very comfortable with desire, especially as the feminine, because as I mentioned, the feminine is already whole and full.
and she wants to be filled up more, right? And that's where desire comes in. If you think about it, what creates life? Desire, right? It takes desire on the part of the man and the woman in order to create a baby. Desire is where life is birthed from. And that is true for everything. Every single idea you have, every single manifestation that you want to create begins with desire, okay? And so if we do not have desire,
or if we are shameful about our desire, then we put ourselves into a place of lack. But recognizing that desire is different from need. Desire comes from this place of already fullness and wholeness, this recognition of, will always be taken care of. I live in an abundant universe. It is this owning of your wanting, and it is a recognition of the abundance that already exists in the universe and your ability to tap into that abundance.
Need comes from a place of lack. It comes from feeling like you are behind from this place of I am not good enough. I need something to fill this hole inside of me or I need something to feel safe or I need something to feel better. It is a shaky foundation for creation when we are in need, right? Nobody likes to be with a very needy partner. Maybe some people do. I'm sure there are people out there that like that. But
Jenn Ditzhazy (04:39.232)
It doesn't feel good because need is this energy of taking and trying to get. Have you ever been in a conversation with somebody and you're talking to them and you can tell like, God, that person is like trying to get me to like them or they're trying to get something out of me or they're trying to make me do something because they have this big need and vibrationally you're feeling into that sense of need and it doesn't feel good, right? But if you meet someone that's just so excited about their next chapter, they're so excited about what they're creating.
not from a place of need, but from a place of desire, it's a very different frequency. And it creates a very different result because frequency is what determines form. It determines what is formed and created within our lives. So I wanted to reiterate that point because it's so crucial. And I'd love for you to start thinking about in your life, really like, where am I coming from a place of need, of lack, of if I don't have this, I won't be okay.
And where am I coming from a place of desire? Right? For me, this podcast is purely from a place of desire. I really don't need this for my business. It's, it's, I'm sure it's very helpful for my business, right? But I don't need it. I receive my revenue for my business in another way, but I love doing this podcast. love waking up early in the morning, having a nice cup of tea, dimming the lights and letting just the sunrise be the light for this. I love it.
because it's from a place of desire. I feel called, I feel pulled to do this. So that's really our first concept that I want to really mention today. The second concept I wanna mention as well is the feminine's ability to surrender is vastly important because surrender, and by surrender, I mean not needing to control everything, not needing to always know how it's going to work out, not micromanaging the outcome.
Surrender is knowing life has a better plan for you and being okay with allowing life to unfold in a way that may look a little bit different than you expected, but recognizing that it will be better than you could have ever imagined. And the feminine's ability to surrender is one of her greatest gifts and one of her greatest attributes. The feminine is not meant to be in a controlling energy. Truly a controlling energy is an energy of lack,
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or it's a masculine energy of trying to get an outcome. And I think about this like in dating, right? The dance between in dating is so masculine and feminine and that dynamic and the feminine's ability to surrender and say, okay, you know what? I'm gonna let him make the plans. I'm gonna go with the flow. I'm going to wait for him to text me. I'm not going to text him first. I'm not gonna try and make a plan. I'm not gonna try and force him to see me again.
ultimately leads to a significantly better relationship in my experience and what I've seen many, many times again, it goes with these principles because she's able to surrender and trust that the right person will come to her and not try to force the outcome and create a masculine outcome because that allows her to call in a truly masculine partner because a truly masculine partner who really wants to be with her will pursue her.
he will follow and he will pursue and he will try to see her again and again and again and again versus a man that's questioning whether he wants to be with her. He's not going to pursue her or a man who is in his feminine, which most feminine women do not want to be with. It doesn't feel safe for us. He will not pursue. Okay. And so that's very clear signaling to us.
So that ability to surrender and trust and say, you know what, this guy's not texting me. That means maybe he will, but maybe he's just not the right person for me. And that's okay. The universe has a better plan for me. That takes so much strength and so much courage and such a strong ability to surrender. But that woman is going to get a far better relationship than the woman who is trying to control, who's texting him 500 times. When are we going to go out again? Or why haven't you texted me? Or, this is what I made for breakfast.
It's going to be a very, very different relationship because you can even see in how I describe it, one comes from a place of desire, one comes from a place of need. The place of need creates that shaky foundation. So surrender is one of the greatest gifts of the feminine. It allows this interplay between her and the universe. It allows this interplay of co-creation, of saying, you know what, I do want this outcome.
Jenn Ditzhazy (09:19.594)
I want my launch in my business to be so successful and I'm so excited about it that I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna do my absolute best, and then I'm gonna let it go. And I'm gonna allow the universe to bring in the right people for me. I'm gonna surrender my need to control it. Does that mean that I don't devote myself to it and show up for what I love because I'm in love with loving it? No, it doesn't mean that. But it means that I let go of trying to control the outcome.
And I allow, I open the door for divinity and divine grace to come in and do the co-creative part. Because we're not creating this life on our own. I'm sure you've realized that by now, right? We don't get to control everything. We don't really get to control much actually. And so when we allow in for that space for divinity to come in and support us, when we surrender, we receive such a better.
Okay? So another piece of the puzzle that I wanna mention to you as well, and this is the last piece I'll mention before I get into those tools, because I wanna make sure we have plenty of time for those, is standards. The feminine is responsible for holding the standard and for the pacing. She decides what feels good to me, what feels like an...
Expression a high expression of my self-care of my self-love of my self-trust What is my standard for my life? And then she allows the masculine she allows the universe to meet her there So you can think of the feminine standards as like this masculine container for her life Okay, and this is something that Truly my understanding of feminine energy has evolved vastly over the last few years
because I've been playing with these concepts in my life and I've seen that it's this dance, okay? And this is one of the things that I think most people don't understand about the feminine because the undeveloped, immature feminine thinks like, oh, I just flow and like, you know, I just do my thing and like, I allow the universe to take care of me and la la la la la. And those, that kind of feminine energy often ends up.
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barely making any money, barely being able to take care of herself, being dependent on another person, because she does not have standards for herself. She does not have a container in which that allows her feminine energy to flow, because we all have masculine and feminine energy. And standards allow us to almost wrangle in, I'm thinking of wild horses or rushing water.
Wrangle in that feminine energy. The feminine energy is the wild horses, the rushing water. And this is really, really important. Even if we have a partner, right, who helps and supports us and takes care of us, it's important for us to do this for ourselves, because people will reflect back to us our standards for ourselves. This is I have an episode that's called teaching the universe to treat you like a queen. It's like four or five episodes back. That's a really good one to touch on.
and listen to because I dive deeper into this concept of like the reflective nature of the universe and how if you want to be treated like a queen, you have to start with treating yourself like a queen. And that's part of where our standards for ourself come in, right? And it's part of where we say, okay, if I want to start a business, I'm going to dedicate my time and my energy to focusing and creating that business, right? If it's set, if we say, I want to have a loving, healthy relationship,
and you know what, in the past I've dated a bunch of losers who treat me like crap, then I'm gonna dedicate time to healing my wounds, to learning about relationship dynamics, so that way I can have that healthy relationship. Standards are what call forth our behavior. And if we have low standards for ourself, we have low standards and a low quality life, okay? That's the truth. And recognizing that
standards can come in many different forms and you get to decide the standards that you create for yourself. Some of the standards I create for myself are I navigate my triggers, I navigate my painful, uncomfortable emotions, I allow myself to feel them, and then I rise up and I allow myself to show up how I want to show up. I don't allow myself to get angry and unkind really in
Jenn Ditzhazy (13:58.09)
any situation. Does it happen once in a while? Absolutely, I'm human. But one of my standards that I continuously am rising to reach is how I show up for other people. Am I kind to them in disagreements? Am I loving to them? Do I respect their opinion? Standards can be how we show up. They can also be what we believe. So my standards could be something like my life is meaningful and magical.
And that is a standard. And do you see how just saying that starts to open these doors and these windows of possibility? So you can think of the feminine as this energy that is this energy of wild horses, this unbounded energy of the quantum field of manifestation of unseen forces of raging wild water. And think of these standards as lane lines, like bowling lane lines that keep
us from not showing up as the version of ourselves that we want to show up as. Because the truth is, who do you want to be in the world? That's what your standards should reflect. And so another one might be, I'm not available for lack. I'm not available for stress. If I recognize that I'm getting into a loop of lack and stress, then I will raise my consciousness. I will shift my thinking. I will change my physiology to get myself out of that.
Avenue and the more the standards are not like okay I set a standard if I don't meet it then I suck right they're not perfectionism they are what you're continuously rising to meet you're continuously saying these are my standards for myself I'm not available for emotional dumping this is something that I've had to really work on because I used to be the person that like my friends would call and then they would just like unload emotionally on and I'd end the call feeling
terrible and then they would feel great. And so now I have guidelines around it, right? If I have a friend that calls me and wants to gossip around someone, I'm not available for that. I won't be unkind, but I'll redirect the conversation. I'll just say, you know what? This doesn't feel good. Why don't we talk about something else? I'm not available for things that don't light me up. I'm not available for fear. I don't know if that's a good one.
Jenn Ditzhazy (16:21.514)
Let me think about that. Am I not available for fear? You know, I'm not available for bowing to fear. Fear is okay. Fear is a normal emotion, but I'm not available for letting it run my life. So I think it can be really, really helpful if you answer these questions for yourself of how do I want to lead myself? That's really what your standards are. They're self leadership. They're saying, who do I want to be in the world and what standards do I need to cultivate?
A standard I have for myself is I exercise four to five times a week. That is something that is a non-negotiable for me and I know that when I move away from that standard, I don't feel as good. Okay, another standard for me is I walk my dog every single day. That's a standard I've set because I value my relationship with him. I've done this ever since I got him. It's very rare. Like I have to be sick to miss a day where I don't walk him because I, I...
I, even if I don't feel like it, it really matters to me that he has a good quality of life. And I know that those walks light him up. Right. And so our standards could be about other people as well in our interactions with other people or other beings like our pets. I have standards for how I show up for my family, how I interact with my mom and dad. And a lot of these are probably unconscious for you, but I think it's worth it to look at each area of your life and ask, you know, what am I available for?
What am I not available for? How do I want to lead myself? So those can be some really powerful journaling exercises for you. And I think we're gonna actually work with this in my community this week in the Manifestation Accelerator, because it's so juicy. So.
Okay, those are some more aspects and tools of the feminine. And I'm sure you can see like we could honestly spend six months diving into feminine energy and how to cultivate it in each aspect of your life from relationship to health to business. But what I really want to get into today, and maybe we will do that at some point, is I want to share with you the tools that I have found exceptionally helpful to cultivate this feminine energy. And let me just get some water. I don't know how to pause my podcast recording.
Jenn Ditzhazy (18:37.26)
I'm sure there's a way, I don't see it. Okay. So cultivating feminine energy. The first thing I will say to you is spaciousness. Lay down your need to rush through life. Okay, we all have it to some extent. Mine used to be...
awful. Like I always felt rushed. I always felt like there was like a monster on my back trying to be like, you got to go faster. You got to go faster. Like you're going to die. You're going to get into lack if you don't go faster. Right. My mom used to say that I had this energy and apparently I've had this my whole life of hurry up and get it done. Right. I would always hurry up and get it done. And I'm a very efficient person still, but I've begun allowing in this room for spaciousness. What that means is if I know I have an appointment and it's 20 minutes away,
I give myself 30, 35 minutes to get there. And if I get there early, then I have a book and I'll sit there and I'll read my book and it's delicious and it's fun versus getting there right on time and then having to fill out the paperwork, whatever it might be. Rushing through life is a subconscious indicator that creates lack and that creates fear. Think about it, right? Our ancestors, when they were rushing around, that was an indicator that they were not safe.
So when you're constantly rushing around, you're creating this subconscious feeling of not being safe. What that does is it dysregulates your nervous system. It disconnects you from your intuition. It disconnects you from your high vibrational emotions and your ability to manifest the things that you want. So giving yourself more spaciousness, right? Not packing your calendar with millions of things to do, giving yourself some time and some freedom. And I know this is harder for our mamas, right? Because we're mamaing, but
It, you can still do it. You can still do it in certain ways by asking others for more help, by finding pockets in your day, maybe waking up a little bit earlier to give yourself a little bit of that slow down time. I promise you, honestly, if you do nothing else that I'm going to share with you today, this is one of the most powerful things you can do is just allowing yourself to do a little bit less and saying, yeah, maybe I want to accomplish a bunch as much this week. Maybe I will be a little bit slower.
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but I'm gonna feel so much better. I'm gonna feel so much better doing it. So cultivating that spaciousness, I can't overemphasize it enough. Allowing yourself time to make a slow breakfast, Slowing down when you're walking. Some people just walk so dang fast, especially like New Yorkers. I feel like in California, we don't have this problem as much, but we still do. There's still some people that walk really fast, right? It's that rushing that dysregulates the nervous system.
So the easiest thing you can do to show your nervous system that you're safe, to tap into that parasympathetic, that rest and digest state where you'll receive more downloads is just slow down. Sometimes when I'm driving places, I'll literally just go over to the slow lane and I'll just slow down. Cause I'm like, I did not want to be in this hustle and bustle. I did not want to be in this rush. You know, I'll check if I, especially if I'm driving by the ocean, like heck yes, I'm going to slow down for that. Another piece of this
feminine energy puzzle cultivation is also dance and movement. So a huge way that we connect into our feminine energy is through our bodies, right? The masculine is very mental. The feminine is very feelings and emotions based, and that is in the body. So I love, I dance probably pretty much every day. I'm also taking a twerking class once a week, which is so much fun and I love it. And the music is so good.
Dance is a really powerful way and you know, I encourage you to do it in a space where you're alone You put on some music and you just move to whatever rhythm your body wants to it can look weird It can look silly. It can look like a psychopath. You can hit the pillow. You can yell into the pillow Allow yourself to use movement to move emotion because emotion is energy in motion and so dance and movement allows you to move that
Right? And movement, something I've found for myself is that when I allow myself, and I have an episode on this, I don't know what it is, but it's about your cycle and about the different kinds of exercise and the different kinds of foods that are beneficial throughout your cycle. And also the spiritual gifts that you can tap into at different points in your cycle. But I digress. Different kinds of movements throughout the month, especially, I mean, even if you're not,
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menstruating, even if you've gone through menopause or things like that, you still will have a hormonal cycle. It's just going to be more subtle. It will be more tied to the phases of the moon. So the moon affects us a lot as well. recognizing that doing different kinds of movement throughout the month is okay. You don't have to be a man and do the same workout every single day. It's actually probably not very beneficial to you. So allowing yourself to
do different kinds of movement throughout the month. Maybe sometimes you do a little bit slower. I let myself do different kinds of movement throughout the week. So I have my standard for five workouts a week, four or five. Usually I guess it's five. But within those five, it will fluctuate. I always love doing my dance class. There's a bar class I do every week, right? But other than that, maybe I'll do yoga. Maybe I'll do a weight workout. I let myself flow and...
experience what my body wants to experience. And I trust that I trust in the intuition of my body. So allowing yourself to have in that movement, walking and going on slow walks with a really nice podcast, like some of you are probably doing right now. Another one is touch and sensuality. And this can be getting a massage. If you're single, it can be touching yourself and it can be like sexual touch, but it can also be
just literally like touching your arms and really slowly stroking your arms or stroking your legs. Because what happens is when we tap into our sense of touch, it takes energy. You're literally directing energy with your hands away from your analytical mind into the sensory experience. And senses really help pull us back into the present moment to experience what is. When we feel pleasure from touch,
we are actually drawing our energy into the present moment and allowing ourselves to feel more connected, get out of our fearful over analyzing mind. So touch and sensuality. So by sensuality, what I really mean is just like connecting to your senses in a really, really present way. So this could be drawing yourself a really nice bath and just being in the bath, right? Maybe you don't put on a podcast, maybe you put on some soft music and you just, you know,
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touch your arms, you touch your legs, maybe you have bubble bath in there and you play with the bubble bath. It's being present in the moment with the sensations you're experiencing. It could even be as simple as closing your eyes, dropping your energy into your heart space, putting your hands over your heart and feeling that energy and feeling that breath flow. Right, it's very easy for us to reconnect into our senses.
That leads me to the next one, which is really moving into your heart. And I do that by the heart centered breathing I just described, where you put your hands over your heart, you pull your energy and your focus into your heart space at the center of your chest, and you just slowly breathe into that space. You can even imagine a pink light, but that takes us sensory into our bodies, and it also brings energy into our heart, which...
Harmonizes our emotional frequency it harmonizes our energy it creates coherence in our field it reduces the static in our field So another one is beautification So this is something for a long time that when I was really like living in my masculine I never did it was like it would be like, you know beautifying your spaces I lived with one of my boyfriends for a long time and he was very minimal and I remember our house was like so dang minimal
and it wasn't beautified, right? And I wasn't connected to my feminine, so I didn't feel the need to beautify it. And it doesn't mean necessarily beautifying your home, but you think about the beauty industry, right? We are naturally drawn to beautifying our vessel, to beautifying ourselves. It could be adorning your body with beautiful clothes or things that feel good for you. It could be cooking yourself a nice meal and maybe plating it.
could be decorating your home for Halloween. Yesterday, I just bought some pumpkins. I bought one of those like cinnamon brooms. It's fun. It feels good to beautify spaces, to beautify experiences, because it's a form of creation. And the feminine is the creatrix. She is literally the creator of life. She's bringing, she's a portal to bring life into this world. And part of that is through the beautification of our environment. They say that the masculine will...
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get the house, the feminine will turn it into a home. That's that beautification. So the next thing I want to talk about is prioritization of pleasure. And my pleasure, really talking about more like sexual pleasure. could be, you know, like the sensuality and pleasure in all regards, like baths and things like that, but also this sexual aspect, because there's a lot of shame, there's a lot of judgment around sexuality.
And I'm not saying go out there and have a ton of partners. That's not really something that I think is, I mean, if you want to, that's totally fine. There are spiritual reasons why that can be harmful to the vessel. I'm not going to get into that today, but what I am saying is prioritizing pleasure in, you know, touching yourself, feeling into your body, because if you read the work of mom and Gina, she has a ton of work around how
really connecting to our pleasure centers, our root chakra area, all of those kinds of things, our sacral chakra, can really, really benefit us and really connect us to our femininity and connect us to even a higher power. And she has this quote that says, pleasure is a nutrient. If we don't have it, we aren't living the fullest, healthiest version of ourselves. And when she talks about pleasure, she talks about it in all regards, right? From a bath to movement.
to sensuality, but she also talks a lot about connecting to your own personal pleasure and self pleasure through orgasm, through physical touch, through those kinds of things. Because when, this is another quote from Mama Gina, she says, when we are disconnected from our pleasure, we're disconnected from our voice. When we shame that aspect of ourselves, when we don't allow ourselves to connect to that aspect, then we are turning off a huge part of what it means to be feminine.
There's nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself or having pleasure with your partner or pleasure with another person. It's actually really good. And it's what we came here to do, right? Part of what we came here to do, not all of what we came here to do. And so allowing yourself to weave that into your week is going to repay you tenfold. And it's not even just...
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the things that I've already mentioned, but it also supports your hormones. It supports your chemical responses within your body. It's actually very healing to allow yourself to connect to that. So that's another one that's really valuable. Soft practices like yin yoga or restorative yoga, things that allow you to slow down. Another one I will mention is sisterhood. So connecting with other women in a non-competitive way, because remember the competitiveness is the masculine.
But allowing each other to rise together, creating a sisterhood is one of the most valuable things that you can do. It's one of the things that the women that come into my community love the most is the supportive sisterhood. There's nothing but supportiveness and good vibes between each other because it's a true sisterhood. And that's what a true sisterhood is. And if you think back to hunter and gatherers, we were in sisterhood all the time, right? We weren't spending our days with the men, the men were out hunting.
we were with other women. And there's something so powerful and so healing about a really beautiful sisterhood that supports one another, that rises together. So that is the final thing I will leave you with today. I hope you have absolutely, absolutely enjoyed this. If you're interested in going deeper into any of these concepts, to learning more, tune into the next.
podcast episodes. I think I'm going to do another one probably about feminine energy and some more concepts around this and listen to the last episode and please leave me some comments on this episode on Spotify or Apple and reviews. I'd love, love, love to hear from you and I hope that you have thoroughly enjoyed this as I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing with you. Okay. Bye bye.
